Ace Week 24-30 October 2021

What is asexuality?

Asexual people do not experience sexual attraction. They are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way.

Is being asexual the same as celibacy?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation, and is an intrinsic part of who we are, so is not the same as celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity.

It’s a spectrum

Asexuality is a spectrum, so a grey-asexual person may experience sexual attraction very rarely or only under specific circumstances, while demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone.

Aromantic people do not experience romantic attraction.

Social attitudes to relationships

There are lots of different ways to love or be attracted to someone, however we mostly talk about sexual and romantic relationships. Most people experience sexual and romantic attraction towards the same person and often assume that these forms of attraction have to be connected, which isn’t the case for asexual or aromantic people who feel that sexual attraction and romantic attraction aren’t matched.

Does that mean that all asexuals single?

Ace people still have relationships. Some ace people choose to have a close emotional intimacy with someone and people on the asexual spectrum could have sexual or romantic relationships for a number of reasons.

Representations of sex are all around us and encourage us to think that human happiness depends on sex and romance, but this is not true for everyone and for ace people it can be very alienating. 

It is not uncommon for ace people to talk about being made to feel like they are ‘broken’ because of these attitudes, when they are just trying to be themselves. We all have multiple identities and where our characteristics intersect this can compound discrimination we are already experiencing.  

Ace role models

UCL alum, Yasmin Benoit, is a model and award-winning activist, who has been raising awareness of asexuality since 2017, when she publicly came out as aromantic-asexual. She created the #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike movement to show that there is no asexual way to look or dress and, in 2019, she became a board member of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), which holds a large archive of resources about asexuality and hosts the world’s largest online ace community. 

Want to find out more?

You can find out more about Yasmin Benoit and the work she does on her website - https://www.yasminbenoit.co.uk/.

Start being an ace ally now

Ace week is a great time to read up on asexuality. Here are some places to get you started:

• AVEN’s website has lots of useful resources:

https://www.asexuality.org/

• Stonewall has posted some great blogs by ace people to celebrate ace week. You can read them here:

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/happy-ace-week

• You can find out more about events scheduled for ace week here: https://aceweek.org/

And remember!

• Don’t assume everyone needs sex and romance in their life to be happy.
• Believe people who come out to you as ace, be supportive and allow them to make their own choices about their relationships.
• Challenge ace-phobia and ace-erasure whenever you see it and promote inclusion.
• Help spread the word about asexuality: make sure it’s included in the conversation and help others to educate themselves.

By Rebecca Jennings, member of the UCL’s LGBTQ+ Equality Steering Group (LESG)