Player profiles...
Here you can learn about some of our "higher profile" players... You sad person don't you have anything better to do? :-)
Current squad members with entries on this page (new contributions in words or pictures gleefully accepted):
See also the archive of old player profiles for "retired" players!
Kelly Bates
Nickname: Funbundle
Preferred position: Centre Court
Kelly is a past captain of the MNA PPS squad - for the uninitiated, that's the Paddington Party Sluts - a situation which does have an uncanny ring of appropriateness to it... because Kel is such an excellent organiser of course, what else did you think? :-) In the tradition of classic MNA hardcore members, she is also a regular and reserve in several of our other teams, and despite her tiny stature always delivers brilliant performances, both on court and in the bar afterwards!
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Nick Bowles
Nickname:Brightspot
Preferred position: C/WA
Nick is an Allstars oldtimer, having been playing with the squad since its inception (and with the hard core since long before that!). His nickname used to be Mr Reliable as he would regularly traverse London from East to West just to play with us in the NLML. However that was wintertime and since he never seems to have suntan lotion with him, anyone who's seen him in summer will understand his new one... If his bald patch were Rudolph the Reindeer's nose, would anyone notice the difference?
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Alexandra Brooks
Nickname Happy
Preferred position: GS
Alex worked at UCL with Andy Dawson and so was natural prey for the Allstars recruiting machine... Now a stalwart of the Paddington league, her claims to fame are her deadly shooting, her ever-beaming smile, and her ability to sucker umpires into thinking she's a nice, sweet, gentle girlie and getting all the contact calls going her way by looking hurt and innocent if a defender so much as breathes on her. And if that doesn't work she swears at them in Italian :-)
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Gary Brown
Nickname Zippy
Preferred position: Most places!
Gary has been with MNA for a long time, but for several years we saw almost nothing of him as he lived in Salisbury and only came to the odd tournament. Since moving to London though he has been making up for lost time as he seems toplay for one or other of our league squads most nights of the week! He also umpires, and is constantly partying: if we could only bottle his energy we could make a bundle!
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Hannah Burley
Nickname Little Miss Bump
Preferred position: WD
Hannah is a sterling defender and an asset at either WD or GD, who has played for us in the leagues but nowadays tends to come only to tournaments since she moved out to Dunstable to live. The things some people will do to get away from us... Hannah gets her nickname from the fact that whenever she plays she always seems to be tripping up, falling over, or colliding with the opposition (or even her own teammates!). Of course if she will play with her bib over her head...
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Mwitwa Chibwa
Nickname: Little Miss Missing
Preferred position: Varies!
Mwitwa first joined MNA in 2002 and has played in a number of squads, although her heart lies with the Specials who were her first team. Space precludes us telling you all the interesting things we know about her - her amazing and varied hairdos, her inability to tell where her landing foot is, her phobia of turning up to matches on time - so let's just say what an excellent circle defender she is, even if lately she wants to change her position almost as often as her image!
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Juliette Clark
Nickname: Flasher
Preferred position: GS/GA
Jules is occasional Captain of the Recidivists and one of our best female attackers - not only a great shooter, but by common acclaim of our male attackers, the easiest partner to play with in the circle! And no, we're not talking about anything to do with her willingness to demonstrate the colour of her knickers... even though she does tend to do this with some regularity...! :-)
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Andy Dawson
Nickname: Zimmerframe
Preferred position: GK
Andy is the founder of the MNA Allstars and the man who does all the organising - no wonder things are always in such a mess! Apparently he was once quite a decent player (so HE says) but nowadays all sorts of dodgy body parts and old age mean that he has to play a more tactical (aka immobile) role - as a shooter! He is reknowned for chatting up female officials to get calls going his way, and takes particular pride in once having been called "The best male player I've ever seen" by a lady umpire. Please don't remind him that at the time he was the ONLY male player she'd ever seen....
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Kylie Dermody
Nickname: Dynamo
Preferred position: Centre court
Kylie is a bundle of energy on court! She always claiming to be out of condition, but is always capable of running everybody else into the ground... her phenomenal fitness stops below the knee, however, and she has the honour of being the first ever holder of our annual Zimmerframe award for most time on injured reserve, having dislocated her ankle within days of joining, and being out of action for almost a year before playing her first game for us!
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John Flynn
Nickname: Superboy
Preferred position: Defence
John came to MNA from rivals TDC when he moved to London for work and couldn't do without his regular netball! A great allrounder but with a particular flair for defence, his trademark move is to come flying in from nowhere to pull off an impressive interception - hence his nickname. If he was taller, of course, it would be superMAN... :-)
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Rozanne Gouws
Nickname: M-Spice
Preferred position: On court!
Roz got married in 2005 and it's obviously done her good because she has become even more of a demon player since! Traditionally a defender, she revealed herself to be a closet shooter and has since taken a lead role up front for several of our teams. And she plays a mean midcourt too... which has led to some embarassment, as it is now rumoured that her other half proposed not least because he'd heard us say she was fantastic in every position? :-)
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Lisa Hall
Nickname: Topcat
Preferred position: C
Lisa became part of the Allstars family in 2003 and made herself invaluable as starting Center at Poplar where she always controlled the play with aplomb - not suprising really as in real life she's a director of a major financial services company! She is also a frequent participant at tournaments, when she is even more popular amongst her teammates, not only for the fact that she is ever-smiling and supportive, but also because everyone wants to be the one to get a lift home in her Porsche :-)
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Katy Halliwell
Nickname: Tiger
Preferred position: WA
Katy joined MNA in 2004 and quickly proved herself to be a classic MNA player, turning out regularly in both the Avatars and Allstars squads as well as filling in wherever and whenever she can! Her pinpoint passing and incredible vision make her a huge asset, and she never stops running. No doubt the Freudians would suggest she is trying to compensate for her diminutive stature by playing so hard... But so long as she keeps it up we don't care! :-)
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Dee Harris
Nickname: Bike Girl
Preferred position: WA
Dee is another of the Allstars' tournament regulars, especially for weekend trips and tours as it means she can get drunk and fall over without anyone at home seeing her. She claims to be a keen mountain biker, and that her various bruises and injuries all come from falling off her bike, but we reckon it's down to the alcohol and her nickname is really because... Oh no we couldn't possibly go there could we? :-)
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Susie Homan
Nickname: Insatiable
Preferred position: GD/C
Susie is a classic MNA recruit - already involved in several other teams and places but just couldn't turn down yet one more opportunity to play... Another member of the infamous MNA "Demon Defence" crew, her excellent performance on court is only exceeded by her unending capacity for more netball, even if it requires travelling hundreds of miles for a single game! Also a totally reliable organiser and talented recruiter, her nickname is nothing to do with anything except her appetite for netball. Well, allegedly... :-)
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Petra Horvath
Nickname: Valkyrie
Preferred position: GD/GA/C
Petra's opponents are often distracted by her disarmingly sweet smile and her striking looks (6' blue-eyed blonde) only to be savaged mercilessly when her killer instincts kick in on court. Not only voted Paddington "Defender of the Universe" in 2003 but also InLondon Sports Personality of the Year (Woohoo!), she shows no mercy to the opposition, although her agression can sometimes get the better of her, and has even led to her nearly laying out her own GK by swatting the ball out of an opposing shooter's hand straight into his face...
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Sharon Inman
Nickname:Shazza
Preferred position: Defence
Sharon is a long-term Recidivist (in every sense of the word :-) ) and although traditionally a defender, she has recently been spotted in attack on occasion! She can more than hold her own in the pub (an MNA tradition of course) and is usually the last Recidivist standing - no mean feat, although staggering would be a more exact description :-) Always hospitable, she will often invite everyone back to hers, but be warned - the last time the team accepted, she had forgotten her house keys! Cue much banging on doors, waking up neighbours, flatmates, broken trellises... and sliding down stairs on baking trays...?!
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Anissa Jones
Nickname: Smiler
Preferred position: Wherever you want!
Anissa is one of our many antipodean players, and her sunny personality and keenness on court were sadly missed when, after playing with us for some time, she went back to Oz in 2002... However she missed us soooo much that she came back for more within a year! She's just gone back again but who knows... She is a management favourite, as she is unhesitatingly willing to make herself available in any position, and gives everything she's got, every time. And she'll play anywhere she's needed on court flat out too :-)
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Eugene King
Nickname: Iceman
Preferred position: Wherever!
Eugene is a versatility expert, being able to play every position on court effectively - which makes him a manager's favourite! Despite his height and solid build, he is a very dainty player and also invaryingly very polite on court. No matter what the provocation, he always appears to keep his cool... although you can gauge his frustration index by the shade of red his face goes as he battles with himself not to blow his top!
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Becky Lowe
Nickname: Captain Chunder
Preferred position: Defence
Bex is MNA’s most hardened drinker (no mean feat!) and infamous for her antics on tour - whether it be dancing in the street, pulling strings of very dodgy blokes, or spending the night keeping her roomies awake calling Huey and Ralph, you can be sure it’s been preceded by a serious bout of drinking. Actually thinking about it… It’s not just on tour she’s like this, is it? :-)
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Maria Lundy
Nickname: Shortarse
Preferred position: Shooting
Maria is half of the Specials' infamous "vertically challenged" attack with fellow shortie Justin (q.v.) and makes up in shooting skill what she lacks in inches - fairly necessary when you're often a foot shorter than the defender going up for a rebound! Her other claims to fame are a talent for innuendo and an exceedingly dirty laugh... Mmm which reminds me, must add voice clips to this site sometime!
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Hayley McCarthy
Nickname: Guvnor
Preferred position: In charge
Hayles is an invaluable member of the squad, as she can play any position well, and is also an incredibly skilled organiser. So effortlessly does she get things running smoothly that she has become the de facto administrator of most things we run, from our annual tournament to our Christmas party. She radiates an air of calm control even under the most difficult circumstances - so playing with us she gets lots of practice!
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Elise McGale
Nickname: Elsie
Preferred position: GD/WD
Elise is a bit of a schizophrenic – by day a sweet, hardworking, sleepy 92-year old (it’s a long story :-) ), but by night and on court, a no-hold-barred full-on killer defender! Her modest height belies her phenomenal ability to beat guys a foot taller than her to high balls, and her despite her slight frame she constantly chucks cannonball passes down court...Plus once she’s had a few drinks it takes a whole team of people to hold her down… Mmmm she’s enjoying that WAYYY too much…:-)
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Rob Morgan
Nickname:Charmer
Preferred position: Either end
Rob is a great asset to the Allstars as he can play very effectively in either defence or attack. Voted "Defender of the Universe" at Poplar in 2003, he has also played at Islington as a shooter and is fast becoming an obvious contender for any MNA squad's attack. Now playing for Party Stars at Pimlico, he's good in the air and mobile, and he also posesses a sweet look and big doleful eyes which, if all else fails, he bats at the opposition females to distract them.
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Pauline Mosely
Nickname: Spike
Preferred position: Absent
Pauline has legendary status in MNA, not only for her excellent all-round playing ability, but also because in her first season after signing up for the Islington Party Sluts, she couldn't make a single game, and it was suggested that she was actually a figment of Andy's imagination (indeed certain MNA team members - you know who you are, Nick - even went so far as to suggest that on the rare occasions Pauline WAS reputed to have been sighted she was actually Andy in drag... This was of course palpably untrue - for a start, she has considerably more body piercings than he does - although the rumours persist as she has now disappeared again for a year's tour of Oz... Allegedly!
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Rob Philpot
Nickname: Crusty
Preferred position: GA
Rob is a relatively recent addition (2005) to the MNA ranks but quickly established himself as a first-choice attacker for Paddington. Quite apart from being a very reliable shot, he is a very hard worker in and around the circle, which is easily evidenced not only from watching him play but also from looking at the enormous salty tidemarks on his shirt. But be fair, between work and his dedication to netball when would he get a chance to wash it... ?
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Dave Pollard
Nickname: Mr Clean (aka Mr Nipples)
Preferred position: GS/GA
Dave is a long-time MNA player who was with us in the early days in Poplar, then took a break, and then returned in 2003 as a regular with the Recidivists (how apt!) and part-time Allstar. He gets his oncourt nickname from being one of the nicest players you could hope to meet - always polite, never rough, and ever smiling. Despite this gentle approach, he is an incredibly effective attacker and super all-rounder, with great hands and movement (also demonstrated in an infamous set of party pictures from Brean Sands - hence his other nickname!).
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Julie Sexton
Nickname: Colgate
Preferred position: Partying
Jules is a shooter-cum-all-rounder and has played regularly for several squads including the infamous PPS (Paddington Party Sluts) - how strangely appropriate! :-) Never one to miss a presentation or party night, she has even rented a flat in Marylebone so that she can always crawl home easily when inebriated after post-match celebrations in the Dudley. Also reknowned for having the ability to turn on a beaming smile every time someone pulls out a camera!
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Ian Swarbrick
Nickname: Boofhead
Preferred position: Up against the ladies
Ian was christened unanimously with his nickname by our antipodean ladies, as he is constantly flirting with every female in sight and categorically refuses to leave any of them alone unless they tell him to 'booger oof' in the correct accent, as originally being from "oop north" he claims he can't understand them otherwise. He remains convinced that all the MNA ladies secretly enjoy his attentions .... perhaps one day he'll get the message :-)
BOOFHEAD!
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Anna Thrush
Nickname: Dizzy
Preferred position: Defence
Anna joined MNA in mid 2003 and has been a regular in both the Islington and Paddington squads and in our tournament teams. Picking her nickname was extremely easy for us as in one early (and not atypical) week she forgot: the time of her match, her kit, her flat keys, her phone, her bag, and her top! Fortunately, her nickname has no relevance to her demon defence on court, which is always superbly focused. Of course, photographic evidence could provide a clue to the reason for her mental lapses...
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Steven Vaughan
Nickname: Screamer
Preferred position: Cheerleading
Steven is ex-captain of the Recidivists, whom he always looked after with all the care and affection of a mother hen with her chicks :-) Indeed the Recidivists squad always had one of the longest waiting lists of all our teams, not least due to the rumours of the splendid dinners he provided for his teammates at his flat in the shadow of Buckingham Palace.! However the most noticeable thing about him is the fervency of his support for his teams - the incredible volume of his shouts of encouragement regularly deafen players not only several courts away but even those still in the changing rooms!
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Justin Walker-Jones
Nickname: Grumpy
Preferred position: Still trying to work that one out...
Justin has played with the Allstars since they were formed, but we're still trying to work out where he likes to play best... He was a demon defender, but then said he was really an attacker... So we put him in attack, where he was a very effective GA, but then he said he didn't want to play there... So we put him in midcourt, where he did brilliantly at Center, and then he said he hated playing Center... I think we've decided he's really a truly versatile player who just likes frowning :-)
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Louise Waring
Nickname:Sleepy
Preferred position: C
Lou is a great fun personality, a star centre-court player and a past captain of the Allstars and PPS Paddington squads. On court she is always pressuring the ball, and never seems to run out of steam... which perhaps explains why she always seems to be "power napping" when she gets off! Never one to miss an opportunity for a quick snooze, she gets her nickname from her habit of taking a blanket with her to tournaments and snuggling down for a quickie between games. Er...that's quick naps, of course, even if evidence tends to suggest that there are other things she fancies a quick one of... :-)
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Alison Wates
Nickname:Taxi
Preferred position: GS/GA
Alison is one of those players any team just loves to have: keen, enthusiastic, great player - and always ready to give others a lift! :-) Actually it does seem very unfair that a player of her calibre is most famous not for her play, but for her ability act as team driver... But then if she will keep geting up at 5am, picking up a carload of passengers, driving hundreds of miles to tournaments, playing all day, then driving them back in the evening... And we hope it goes without saying that the name has nothing to do with any of her other proclivities..? :-) We love you Ali!
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Tanya Wilkins
Nickname: Dulux
Preferred position: Bar
Perhaps the top female drinker in the MNA ranks (and that's saying something!), Tanya has had many memorable moments, not least missing a critical league clash in which the Avatars (who she captains) narrowly lost to the Recidivists while she sat in the pub round the corner... Once caught drunkenly dancing at midnight on the Old Trafford cricket pitch, Tanya considers "It's ok, I'm Straylian" to be an excuse for almost any conceivable act. Sadly currently bringing up babies in Oz... but you never know, the MNA itch may strike soon and she might be back!
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