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Caring for others while caring for yourself: the life of a young carer
16 March 2021
Many students have caring responsibilities, and we spoke to one UCL student about their experience of caring for a parent, and how they look after their wellbeing. Read on to find out about their experience.
There is a common misconception that caring for somebody is just a series of chores and tasks we carry out to help someone else manage day-to-day life. However, us young carers think about the person we care for every second of the day and constantly worry if we are not helping them as much as we could.
Take my case for example. My mum is an amputee and also suffers from mental health issues. Aside from physically providing aid in physical tasks, I am her rock and a constant source of reassurance. Throughout school and now as an undergraduate student, I worry about how my mum might be doing and feel a constant guilt for not always being beside her. Being a young carer to me feels like being on a constant duty, like a police officer perhaps. Although one form of support may be sorted out, I always have to be on call for the next problem to arise. I will be honest with you, it messes with your focus and managing academics becomes so much more difficult, as I have learned myself over the years.
The worst part of it all is that none of my friends and few people my age can relate, offer advice or talk from similar experiences. This can really pull young carers into a lonely space, even if they surrounded by the people they love. There simply isn’t enough awareness out there for us young carers who essentially live a double life.
When you care for someone it becomes easy to forget about yourself. Earlier this year I was struggling with my mental health, so I contacted Student Support and Wellbeing to get some support, which has really helped me. Counselling is the perfect time for me to unload without being judged and I can honestly say it really helps me keep going.
We are forced to grow up far too quickly. We are forced to balance more than anyone our age is expected to. We are expected to take on roles we always believed should be someone else’s job. But you know what is so crazy, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To get more support, attend events and speak to like-minded students with caring responsibilities, join the Student Parents and Carers Society.