XClose

Students

Home
Menu

Feeling like you’re not “good enough” and 5 things you can do about it!

17 January 2019

UCL Alumna and founder of mental wellbeing startup YourMind writes about the feeling of not being good enough and what you can do about it.

Male student with leaf in hand

Do you feel like you’re not good enough? Not smart enough, not fun enough, not cool enough… just not enough? Guess what: most people feel the same.

Chances are that your friend, whom you think is super cool, super smart, super popular and super confident feels just the same: not good enough.

So why do we feel like this?

It may have started in childhood when a parent, grandparent, teacher or other asks: “Look at how polite your friend Sam is, why can’t you be more like him?” “70% on your test? What did your classmates get?”

It then likely got exacerbated while growing up by the surrounding environment: social media constantly making us feel like everyone is leading better lives, the job market showing us time and time again that someone deserved our dream job more than we did….

The list goes on, but the point is that external triggers led us to believe that we are in fact “not good enough” and now that feeling is hard to shake.

What can you do about it?

Understanding why we feel like we’re not good enough is interesting, but it doesn’t always help to change our mindset. Instead, these exercises can really help to take a step back and feel better about yourself. Do these when you feel like you’re not “good enough”.

1. Understand how not feeling “good enough” works

The feeling of not being “good enough” is usually triggered by our perception of how external factors reflect on us, which is fuelled by our internal dialogue.

Realising that this feeling is not a reality but instead is created by us really helps to take a step back and change our mindset.

2. Recognise your feelings

It sounds obvious, but it really helps to take a step back and recognise how you are feeling. At first, it may feel overwhelming or make us feel more insecure, but the key thing is to realise that this feeling will eventually go away.

Try to visualise the feeling: where is it in your body? what does it look like? how big is it? does it have a name?

3. Talk to a friend

Sharing your worries with someone who cares about you has been demonstrated to reduce stress and anxiety.

Not only that, but you’d be surprised at how many people feel like they’re not “good enough”. By telling people how you feel, you might learn that others feel the same, which will demonstrate that it’s a feeling fuelled by you rather than a reality.

4. Fire up your imagination

Think of a time when you were “good enough” – i.e. you did something well

Make sure that you visualise the exact moment: what were the surroundings like? What made you feel good in that specific moment? How did you feel?

Think of a word to describe yourself in that moment (it can be anything: “I’m awesome”, “I rock”.. whatever!)

Remind yourself of that moment and repeat the words over to yourself a few times

Do this 5 times in a row a few times a day – it really helps to remind your mind and body of that feeling!

5. Ground yourself

Sit comfortably with your feet firmly planted on the floor

Push your feet against the floor as hard as possible and notice the physical feeling of this

Touch something – a pet, a set of keys, a phone, whatever! – and notice the feeling of the object against your fingertips

This really helps to distract you from your negative thoughts and focus on the present – try to do this as often as possible. 

Want to see more tips on what to do when you feel not "not good enough"? Then visit Margot's website, YourMind. There you will also find great articles on Work Burnout, Fear of Missing Out, Decision-Making and so much more! 


By Margot Radicati di Brozolo, UCL Alumna and Founder of a mental wellbeing startup YourMind