Helene's Coming Out Story

When we first discussed the idea of pulling together ‘coming out’ stories, there’s no doubt I was a bit hesitant … you see, I don’t really feel like I’ve ever ‘come out’ … and certainly not in an eventful way. I grew up in the countryside and spent my teenage years basically enjoying being an outdoors kid, not really having a clue about who I was beyond that. Perhaps it was easier to not think about things that didn’t make sense, but obviously, once I got to University, the confusion and the self-discovery hit me full on.

The next few years were a bit turbulent - moving countries 5 years on the trot, meeting so many different people, and negotiating friendships, mindsets, and prejudices. But by the time I started my PhD, I knew I was gay, and I had fallen in love. At some point during that period, I wrote letters to both my parents to ‘explain’ - it wasn’t easy, and I am lucky to have parents who didn’t make a big deal about it. It was what it was. And that was the full extent of my ‘coming out’ …

That’s not to say that the whole world knows though. I’ve always been a private person - I really struggle with social media and I don’t tell the world a huge amount about me full stop. To be honest, being gay is just one tiny element of who I am, it doesn’t define me, and it is really unlikely to be the first thing you would find out about me … the fact that I am vegetarian, or that I have 3 dogs, is far more likely to come into the conversation!  So perhaps I have actually been coming out every week of every year … for many years … and will continue to do so for hopefully many more to come.

It’s just no big deal to me …

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