XClose

Department of Political Science

Home
Menu

Teodor Yankov

teddy
Hi! My name is Teddy - I’m a second-year student from Bulgaria, reading for a BSc in Politics and International Relations here at the UCL Department of Political Science. I am also the student lead of the UCLSPP Gender and Sexuality Diversity Network, and I spend my time at UCL engaged in a wonderful mix of research, leadership and activism. 


1⃣ The LGBTQ+ community brings together an incredible variety of identities, how do you identify yourself within (and beyond) our world?
The answer to this question is still a work in progress for me, and it will quite possibly remain as such! On one side, the word ‘gay’ comes to mind easily when I think about my sexual identity, because that is what makes most sense given where I am now. In terms of self-expression, the last couple of years have been pivotal for me. From very early on, I remember being made fun of for being too feminine for someone who was born male. And growing up in Bulgaria, the culture there leaves barely any wiggle room for someone who didn’t fit the box. I cannot pinpoint a word that quite fits my experience - the search continues.

So for a while, I ran away from my femininity, and accepted the constant fights at home, the hiding and the discomfort as my reality. It wasn’t until the pandemic came about that I started asking more questions - as I started looking inwards, I met myself and wondered why this person was not allowed comfort, freedom and beauty. It was a very simple realisation really - I think I was exhausted honestly. I had spent a long time cultivating courage to wear what I want, to stop censoring myself and to exist unapologetically, and with baby steps I found myself naturally shedding all the stigma and all the expectations that came about because of my body, and began to honour my spirit. To me, my body is a canvas, and I refuse to let someone else tell me what I can or can’t paint on it. 

None of this is, or has ever been, easy. Another big part of my identity is being Bulgarian - this makes for quite an interesting dynamic, given the conservative and patriarchal culture. But that is not all that Bulgarian culture is - there are roses, colours, dances, passion. What do you do if you love your culture and your heritage, but it doesn’t love you as you are? I have to think about that every time I return to Bulgaria, and it tires me out more and more. Choosing to identify myself beyond what people think is normal means having difficult conversations all the time, it means thinking strategically about how to avoid danger every time you leave the house. It can seem manageable at first, but it accumulates - being a sort of ‘identity fugitive’ has become a big part of my lived experience too.

2⃣ How does your LGBTQ+ identity influence your work/studies at UCL? 
I had dreamt off studying at UCL for a while before actually coming here, and a part of that is because of all the wonderful things I heard about UCL in terms of inclusivity. One of the first things I heard was that it was the first university to take in students regardless of sex, religion, wealth or ethnicity, when Oxford and Cambridge were only open to one specific demographic. While that may be an oversimplification, I feel this spirit when I’m at UCL. So, I comfortably bring my identity to every class and every project I do at UCL. I find that it gives me a lens through which to understand the world in a really critical way, so being open about myself has really helped me to find a voice in the classroom and contribute from a point of view that isn’t always taken into consideration.

It has also enabled me to find more opportunities, such as co-leading the Gender and Sexuality Diversity Network. It’s all about meeting people, and my identity has helped me meet so many wonderful people at UCL - this often makes or breaks someone’s university experience.

3⃣ What would a queer utopia look like for you in the Department of Political Science / at UCL / in the world (pick one, two or all)?
I think a queer utopia at UCL would be one where we will no longer need to have visibility events - where the different forms human existence will be celebrated and not questioned or debated. UCL, and also a big part of the world, is in that specific part of the journey right now, where most people can talk freely about the importance of diversity, but less people are willing to commit themselves to making a change, because it’s tricky. I think it’s particularly problematic that the question of people’s livelihoods and their personal identities has become an issue of politics and “academic freedom”. I have heard discourse here calling on the same arguments that I run away from back home in Bulgaria. Unless we stop treating people’s lived experiences as something up for debate, we cannot have a utopia. And while that persists, and if we continue taking steps away from that utopia, visibility events will continue being the beacon of hope for queer people like me to find a sense of belonging and community.