Episode 2. Amelia Meade: Dreams and Duties
Kaixin Zhang & Zhitong Li
Welcome to Access Granted, the stories of UCL’s most inspiring students. Get ready to embark on a journey filled with triumphs, challenges, and everything in between. We’re about to dive into the extraordinary lives of our incredible guests, who are breaking barriers, defying expectations, and leaving their mark on the world. But hey, this isn’t your average storytelling podcast. We’re about to infuse some wit, playfulness, and a dash of the unexpected into each episode. So, sit back, adjust your headphones, and get ready to be inspired and moved. Your access is now granted.
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Kaixin Zhang
Hi, I’m Amelia. This is Kaixin, a graduate student at UCL, and I will be one of your hosts today. And this is Zhitong.
Zhitong Li
Hi everyone, I’m Zhitong. I’m a BSc Anthropology student here at UCL, and I’m gonna be one of your hosts for today as well. So today we are thrilled to have Amelia here with us as our guest, and she will share with us how she has been navigating higher education as a commuter student, a student carer, and an AccessUCL student. For those of you who are not familiar with what AccessUCL is, It’s a scheme designed to help students from deprived areas to get into UCL by adjusting the entry requirements.
Kaixin Zhang
Amelia, could you introduce yourself shortly?
Amelia
My name is Amelia. I’m going into my second year and I’m a History BA student.
Zhitong Li
So, firstly, I’d like to ask some questions about your journey and decision to attend UCL. How did you come to the decision that you want to pursue higher education?
Amelia
I think I’ve kind of always wanted to go to the university. Both my parents are graduates, and my grandparents also are graduates, and my aunties. So, it’s kind of a bit of almost a family tradition, I guess. It’s very like normalised in my family. So, I just wanted to have more access to learning materials and resources because I’m an avid reader, and I’m very big on broadening my knowledge and my opportunities. So, I thought university would be a good way of doing that.
Zhitong Li
Well, in our previous communication, you mentioned that you are a part of the AccessUCL scheme. So, I’m just kind of wondering how instrumental AccessUCL was for you in facilitating your journey towards higher education.
Amelia
AccessUCL was quite helpful. It wasn’t in the most expected way. I do live in a deprived area and I’m from a deprived area. However, when it came down to results, I actually exceeded the standard entry requirements. But having the AccessUCL offer really helped me to build my confidence during my exam season and during A-levels, because I had been quite nervous about some of my results and I wasn’t sure how well I would do. So, having kind of the leeway almost with my grades helped me a lot to just feel more relaxed going into my exams. And I suppose it paid off in the end. But yeah, that’s why I think that was helpful to me. It just kind of took off some of the pressure.
Zhitong Li
There were some challenges you faced when preparing for A-levels and this kind of entry exams. So, because you mention that you were from a deprived area, so I’m kind of wondering what specific obstacles did you encounter when applying for unis, and how did you manage to overcome them?
Amelia
Okay, so I’m quite motivated, and I enjoy working and studying. However, because a lot of people in the area I’m in don’t get the opportunity to go to university, whether they don’t have access to tuition or extra lessons. I feel like it’s quite easy to become complacent and feel like, well, everybody else around me isn’t necessarily going to uni. So, it kind of adds a layer of, well, maybe I don’t need to work as hard. But I feel like… because the subjects I took for A-levels, I took two science subjects. I do a history degree, but I took maths and chemistry as A-levels. They weren’t my strongest subjects. But being from the area I was from and in the school I was in, I got underestimated quite a lo, and people, my teachers even, underpredicted me. They thought I wasn’t going to do very well.
Zhitong Li
Your application was in the middle of the pandemic?
Amelia
Yeah, when I applied, it was quite hard. So, because my A-levels journey started in 2020, we were still doing hybrid learning for part of the first year of six forms, which meant we still missed quite a lot of lessons and things like that because people were sick, or teachers were ill or unable to do the teaching. So that added the pressure to self-teach a lot and do a lot of at-home stuff and independent work, which is fine. However, going forward, it was like a lot of the teachers almost gave up on some of the students and thought, well, if they weren’t the strongest then I wasn’t the strongest in maths for example, and if you weren’t the strongest then they kind of gave up on you a bit, or made you feel like you weren’t going to do very well, and then put a lot of effort into supporting. So, I felt like that was one of the main obstacles I had in terms of my A-levels exams and preparation.
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Kaixin Zhang
So, the next part, we’d like to ask you something about your experience as a commuter student. So how long it will take for you to travel from where you live to UCL campus?
Amelia
Um, it can range between 25 minutes on a good day for about 40 to 45 minutes, depending on whether there are strikes or delays or anything on the trains, because I go by tube.
「Train Sounds」
Amelia
One thing I will say about commuting is it requires me to prepare a lot earlier than I feel like students living on campus do. So, for instance, if I have a lecture that’s at like 9 o’clock, I will have to be awake either at 7 o’clock in the morning or before 7am just to ensure that I have enough time.
So, I would typically need one hour before my lectures start just to accommodate for any kind of traffic or tube delays or any kind of issue that might make my time for travelling any longer. Also, kind of going to other events outside of lessons. It’s kind of hard sometimes to figure out travel at night-time to go home because it’s not always convenient to get like a taxi or Uber from central London out. And sometimes when buses don’t come as frequently or the trains aren’t running as frequently, it can be a bit difficult.
Kaixin
We also understand that you are staying your own dwelling. Is there any specific reason that you choose home over UCL owned accommodation?
Amelia
Yes. So, one of the main reasons I didn’t apply for student accommodation is because I have caring responsibilities.
My grandparents are, well, my grandma has now passed away, but my grandmother and my grandfather both have long term chronic terminal illnesses, so it was very important for me to be able to get to them quite quickly and be able to, maybe have my uni around also looking after them as well and include that in my day-to-day life, and I felt that if I lived out on campus on accommodation, it would have been a lot harder for me to contribute in that sense with their care.
And also, I have younger siblings. I am a very family-oriented person. So, being close to my family was very important to me, and it brought me a sense of comfort to a certain degree as well.
Kaixin
Yes. So, does it impact your social and academic experience?
Amelia
It doesn’t impact my academic experience as much as i think. I feel like I still manage to get the work done and manage the workload quite well.
However, socially it definitely has an impact, just because I’m not in the centre of student life and student activity, just because I don’t live with other students.
Zhitong
Yeah, I definitely feel you because last academic year I lived in East London, and I think it would take me for about 45 to 50 minutes to get to the main campus and I need to transfer for several times from DLR to Elizabeth line to Hammersmith and City, for example.
It could be a really tiring experience, especially torturing when there is a 9 a.m. morning class. And sometimes you just need to socialise with your course mates and your friends, but because you live quite far away, and you can’t really hang out with them too late, or the tube might just end. I mean, you can call an Uber, but the price is quite expensive in London. It definitely adds extra difficulties to my student life.
Kaixin
Yes, I guess we could all concur. When you live far away from the place where you spend most time daily, then you wouldn’t need to overthink about traffic all the time.
And Amelia, as a commuter student, how do you manage your travel time and balance it with your academic responsibility?
Amelia
Okay, a lot of the time what I would do is, depending on my timetable for the day. If I had like a morning lasts to the evening class, a lot of the time I would just stay on campus. So, I would go in early at nine or ten o’clock in the morning and then stay for three, four, five hours in between my other class. And I would study in the library or student centre during the interval. So, I feel like maybe it might have been a bit more helpful actually. Obviously not being able to go home in the middle of the day meant that I had no choice, but as for working at some point, so I had a good separation between my workspace, my home space, my relaxation space. So, I feel like I worked a bit more productive when I was on campus than I was at home. So actually, it wasn’t that bad in terms of balancing traveling and my academic life.
Kaixin
And do you engage with any university community?
Amelia
Well, in first year, I was part of the UCS, and I went to a couple of those events throughout the year. Some of their freshers’ events as well. So, there was a group chat for that society as well. So, it was quite easy to meet, even before university started, when we had got our offers or our exam results in last summer, someone made a group chat of that society and everyone got to know each other a bit before uni started. People went out outing and then when uni did start, there were quite a few different like fresher events and like mixes and socials I went to, to just kind of mingle with people. Also, just during my course, I met quite a few people that were in the ACFs as well. So, there was always a bit of crossover in that regard.
Kaixin
So, you still feel very friendly of the community?
Amelia
Oh yeah, definitely there are ways of doing it. I think it’s a lot about compromise, I guess, and just finding out which locations are kindly to different people and what times work well for people. But it’s not too difficult to stay in touch with other people.
Kaixin
You just mentioned that in your timetable, there may have an interval of three or four hours. And how do you balance that time with your caring duties?
Amelia
So, before in the first year, my grandparents were like, it was kind of split between my family members, so, I have several, I have four aunties and my household as well.
So, the caring was split between the five households. In the daytime, during my, when I going to the uni, I wasn’t caring for them. But, if, for example, I ended early, if I had a half day or something, or I ended in the morning, then I would take over, or go visit them, or help them, or assist them with whatever was needed to be done.
I mean, it wasn’t too hard for me, because my family is a very big part of my life, so I didn’t find it too difficult to manage. But now I feel like this year it’s going to be a bit more time consuming my caring responsibilities, just because now that my grandmother passed away, and my granddad’s condition has also progressed.
So, as a result, I feel like the time I’m spending caring may increase, and that might be a bit more challenging to balance with academic stuff. But I feel like it’s still manageable.
Kaixin
Okay.
Zhitong
Okay, I’m kind of wondering what does your care usually involve.
Amelia
So, it can involve preparation of meals, helping with almost like, not as a cleaning, if that makes sense. How do I explain it, spending time with my granddad…
Zhitong
Like, companion?
Amelia
Yeah, companionship, helping them with getting snacks, food, drinks, beverages, that kind of thing. Also help get himself a bed, help him get his clothes ready, maybe iron his clothes for him, fold them up, do laundry and things like that.
Just kind of anything that may need to be done. I don’t do bathing or anything like that. He can still do that himself. But when it comes to like, because he has dementia, so there are certain tasks that he’s kind of forgotten how to do. So, anything that he forgets how to do, I’ll do for him. So, like washing up that kind of thing.
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Kaixin
And do you think like your experience as a student with the caring responsibility differs from that of other students?
Amelia
I do think so, because at the back of my mind, I’m always aware that I have a responsibility to somebody else. I feel like a lot of students, especially students that aren’t from London, when they move to London or they move to campus, they are kind of able to leave behind their familial responsibilities, because they’re really far from their families. Whereas for me, my location is still close to my family. So, my family is still a big part of my life. I still think about them when I they take into consideration when I make my decisions of what I’m doing, so if I’m deciding, when I want to go out, for example, when I want to do something socially, I do think about, okay, when I’m out, who’s going to be helping with my grandparent? That is something that I will consider, whereas I don’t think a lot of other students have to think about that necessarily, because their families aren’t with them.
Kaixin
Yeah, but I think, as for me, my grandparent is really far away from me. And I’m worrying about them, but I cannot see them in person. So, I think it has the positive effect and also the negative effect.
Zhitong
I mean, yeah, you tend to worry about them, but you can’t really do anything immediately if they need any help. And for lots of the time, because you’re quite far away from them, and they don’t want you to worry about them as well. So sometimes, they just keep things to themselves so not to “ruin” your uni life.
Kaixin
It’s may not a very good metaphor, but last year, my dog passed away who accompanied me more than 10 years. But I was still in London doing the finals, and my parents didn’t talk to me about this.
So, I think there’s good aspect for you to have the caring responsibility with your grandparents and parents and also the negative aspect to care about them all the time.
Amelia
Yeah.
Kaixin
Can you share any experiences or skills you’ve gained from your role as a carer?
Amelia
I really like it. I mean sometimes it’s challenging because it’s quite a lot of responsibility but also I very much enjoy helping people and just having conversations and fun interactions.
So, my granddad, for example, he really likes music and he likes dancing. So, when we put musicals and stuff like that and like we’re dancing, he finds it very fun for him. And just having conversations, joking, watching movies and things like that. He really enjoys it. So it’s very like, how do you say, I guess heart-warming.
Yeah, it’s a very pleasant experience to me in that way. And also just kind of knowing that I’m able to help him even though he’s suffering or something, it’s still nice to be able to help even if it’s a small way.
Kaixin
It’s really good to know the experience you have.
And now we are going to talk about the support you received.
Zhitong
So, so far, we’ve discussed your multiple identities, what support have you received, if any that you might find helpful from UCL or other organisations?
Amelia
I actually didn’t receive any support. But it’s kind of because I didn’t recognise myself as a carer.
Like last year, I didn’t think of myself as being a secondary carer, so I didn’t really think that I was eligible to access the support. But since my father’s situation changed, I have started to think of myself as a carer more. So, I feel like going into the second year, I’ll probably access some of the support available, but I’m not really sure what resources there are for carer students.
Zhitong
So, what resources or support do you wish they were available to you?
Amelia
Just kind of walk-in support sessions, I guess, where you can talk to somebody. Maybe in a group setting, you talk about your responsibilities and any struggles you’re having with it. And people can kind of share their experiences and any advice they might have from other caring students I think would be useful, because sometimes it’s hard to… if you don’t know somebody that well, you won’t really ask them, oh, are you a caring student or not?
So, you won’t know who is around you that’s also going through something similar. So, I feel like that would be a good way of getting people together and making a better and bigger support system for caring students.
Zhitong
Yeah, definitely. I think it’s quite important to build up a community for people to be able to support each other.
Just thinking about your intersectional identities, how does your role as a student carer and a commuter student, and also someone from deprived area, influence your perspective on education, and also, maybe your future, like your career.
Amelia
Well, a lot of people from my families have done nurses or caring assistants and things like that professionally. And I think this experience as a carer student has helped me to appreciate support workers just in general, not just in a caring sense, but for family members, but also in NHS, etc. I think it’s a really important role, just in general, that I feel maybe it’s a bit underappreciated.
In source of education, I think, as an access student, it makes me work very hard, basically, because I feel like deprived areas, a lot of the time, there’s a very low in person expression rate, and I am very determined to break that barrier and not to be conformed to that kind of idea. Because my family is very supportive, and they’re very intuitive education, and I’ve always been someone who’s been taught to read, and to work hard, and to study a lot. So, I think it’s just a lot about making my family proud, and honouring the work that they’ve put in to get me to where I am today as well. Because it’s quite difficult when you’re from a deprived area. Like, it’s hard to feel motivated sometimes because it’s not often that you see yourself represented in like higher education institutions or in Russell group universities, so it’s very important to me to work hard.
Zhitong
Yeah that’s very true. I think speaking of which, me myself as a student from overseas and a member of the minority group in this society, I feel like I need to work hard and just to somehow prove that I’m as good as everyone else. And furthermore, thinking on a community level, just to say that, hey, my community deserves something more in this society.
But at the same time, because it’s a social thing and it could add on some burdens on the individual level. So, at least for me, sometimes it can be quite stressful. Is it the same for you sometimes?
Amelia
Yeah, it can be stressful sometimes because, like you’re saying, again, I’m also from a minority background.
So, there’s so many different intersectionalities and different categories and barriers that come with them. So, being from the caring responsibilities, the deprived area, and the minority group, that’s four different things already. I don’t know, they have the navel attached of maybe not being as good as everybody else or not being as a high-end achiever.
So, it is a lot to think about. And also thinking about the impact it has on your community as well and inspiring people that are younger than you and who want to go to university, also, who are maybe from the same ethnic group as you or on the same area as you. It does sometimes feel like a lot to think about and always wanting to make a good impression or to prove that you to be a good example to other people as well.
Zhitong
Okay, so I’m going to ask probably the last question, the question is, what advice would you give to other students who are also managing similar responsibilities or challenges as you?
Amelia
I would say it’s very important to take care of yourself in the midst of everything, especially if you have responsibilities for other people.
I think it’s important to make sure that you’re doing okay and you’re managing things well, whether that means taking more regular breaks when you’re studying at home or in the library or if it means accessing support through the university or other organisations. I think it’s just very important to take time to recognise what you’ve achieved as well as, what you want to achieve more because I understand the pressure to want to do the best that you can. But I also think it’s important to recognise the fact that you got into a good university, you’re studying a really prestigious course at a prestigious institution, and you deserve to be where you are, regardless of what barriers you have to overcome to get there.
Zhitong
That’s a really practical and useful advice, Amelia. I would say, as a carer you tend to pay attention to others a lot, but sometimes you neglect your own feelings and your own well-being. But only when you’ve taken care of yourself can you start taking care of others. Amelia, thank you for being here today.
Amelia
Yes.
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Zhitong and Kaixin
That concludes Amilia’s powerful story here at Access Granted. Through her journey, Amelia underscored that, while challenges are inevitable, we possess the resilience to overcome them. Caring for others, whether in a family or societal context, is not just a duty. It can also be a source of warmth and connection. Yet, as Amelia emphasises, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. After all, we can only truly support others when we first ensure our own well-being.
Thank you for listening to Access Granted. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Stay tuned for more empowering episodes, as the stories of UCL’s most inspiring students are far from over. As we sign off, keep embracing diversity and celebrating the uniqueness that makes each one of us shine. Thank you for being a part of Access Granted. We are together, we make a difference. If you got any questions or would like to be our next guest, please do not hesitate to reach out to us through our social media or via email. Show notes are available on our website. Also, don’t forget to subscribe us on Spotify and Apple Podcast. And we’ll see you around, next time.
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