Bereavement

Grief is an emotional response to bereavement; involving feelings such as shock, anger, confusion, and acceptance, it is unique for everyone.  Not everyone will go through every emotion associated with grief, but it is important to recognise and acknowledge each one felt. 

Grief does not follow a straight path, there are highs and lows, it is a process that requires patience, self-care and often support from others. 

Anticipatory grief encompasses a set of emotions and reactions that is experienced by people when they are anticipating the death of a loved one.  It can extend over a period of time when someone is facing a life-limiting condition.  There may be feelings of sadness, anxiety, or experience guilt, anger and a need to prepare emotionally for the passing of their loved one, these are all common. 

Anticipatory grief provides the opportunity to start the process of mourning and saying goodbye before death occurs, it allows time to make arrangements and come to terms with the impending loss. 

Children respond to bereavement in many ways, depending on who has died, how they have died and their relationship with that person.  They cope in ways depending on their age, personality and support system.  Children often benefit from age appropriate, clear, honest explanations and reassurances.  They may express their emotions through play, art or questions.  Adolescents may experience grief differently and may need more support to deal with their grief, this could be through friends, counsellors or through art and music.

It is essential for adults to provide a safe space for open conversations, to validate their feelings and offer consistent support. 

If you were the persons main carer, you may not just be losing the person you cared for but also your role as a carer.  You may have had many professionals around, but now that has also come to an end.  The National Prion Clinic are still here to support you, Carers UK also have some useful information on how to manage feelings of isolation and where to find support.

Following bereavement, you may be feeling unusually tired, have difficulty sleeping or have changes to your appetite.  You may have some physical pains that are not usual for you.  These are feelings that most people have when they experience bereavement, it is important for you to get some rest, eat balanced meals and engage in gentle exercise for your own well-being. 

If any of your feelings persist, having a health check with your GP may offer you some reassurance.  They can ensure you are supported the best way possible, this may include referral to specialist support or signposting you to grief support in your local area.

As someone who is recently bereaved, you will have a variety of practical matters to address which you will find challenging during this period. 

When you register the person’s death, the Registrar should also tell you about the UK Government’s ‘Tell us Once’ service which enables you to report a death to most government organisations in one go.  For Northern Ireland click this link. 

You can find information on a variety of charity websites (listed below) or the UK Government website on what to do when someone dies, including registering a death, reporting a death to a coroner, arranging a funeral, dealing with tax and benefits, bereavement allowances and bereavement payments. 

You may wish to postpone making big decisions until you are able to think more clearly and objectively.  Discussing these significant decisions with a trusted person who can help you consider options, can be invaluable.

UK Government – Guidance on what to do when someone dies.

Northern Ireland Government – Guidance on what to do after someone dies.

GriefChat - Transforming Access to Bereavement Counselling.

AtaLoss.org - UK’s signposting and information website for bereaved people.

Cruse Bereavement Support Understanding grief, supporting both adults and children.

Carers UK – Providing practical support and getting help to cope with bereavement.

Bereavement Advice Centre | Free Helpline - Information about practical matters to attend to when someone dies.  Information relates to England and Wales, and includes some of the differences that apply in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Digital Legacy – Learn how to sort out your digital legacy with guides on social media accounts, mobile phones and laptops and other online accounts.

Quaker Social Action – Information and guidance on funeral costs and practicalities after death.

Child Bereavement UK – helps support children, young people (up to the age of 25) and families when someone important to them has died or is not expected to live.

Grief Encounter -  Supporting bereaved children and families through a variety of ways.

Hope Support -  Support for young people ages 5-25 across the UK, from the point of diagnosis and for however long is needed.  Face to face service for those living in Hertfordshire.

Mind charity - Side by Side | A community platform by Mind

Winston’s Wish – Specialist child bereavement support for young people and families - Support and advice on how to tell a young person someone is seriously ill and is going to die, and support for young people who are grieving.