Albert Einstein

First... before I start rambling, heres the wikipedia article that contains more viably accurate information..

 

Life

Albert Einstein, according to uncyclopedia, was the crazy mixed up prodigy of an accident in time travel. He shocked the world when he announced he was truly the son of Jesus the Genius. Hoping to get some action (you know what sort of action I mean ) in Germany, the young Genius discovered the secret to time travel. Upon reaching the late 1800s, he met an agnostic prostitute and converted her to Judaism. After enjoying the time old Charleston, they settled down in a bed near Berlin. Some complications in the time machine caused Einstein to be born as a sixty year old man the next day. This was later corrected by Yusuf through the use of hot mustard. Yusuf trained the young Einstein in his ways, and gave him the credit for the theory of Relativity. He came back to the present and wrote this article.

Death

As we all know Einstein's life came to a tragic end when he imploded in a spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to win a bet that he could generate a mini black hole by running around the world faster than the speed of light after getting into a heated drunken argument with a small hand held battery operated flashlight. Then tragedy struck as Einstein drew level with the velocity of light he became infinitely dense instantaneously passing through every point in the universe. This had the unfortunate side effect of giving him infinite gravitational force which in turn caused the infinitely large Einstein and the entire universe of space and time to fold in on itself until it disappeared into an infinitely small point that is commonly referred to by some of the world's most respected theoretical astrophysicists as a lil' biddy dot. Fortunately for us, the universe restabilised; Unfortunately for Einstein, he was no longer within it.

This is the point where Einstein passed through every point in the universe.

Einstein Implodes

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